Blowing gas
Grant Shapps has saved us all!
The Armchair General has looked on this country’s energy policy with some desperation. I was predicting rolling black-outs at least 15 years ago, and these have, I’ll admit, failed to materialise — but by the skin of the National Grid’s teeth.
As we delve into the following fuckwittery, you must bear one thing in mind: since at least 2008, all governments’ position has been that we, the scum that they rule, must be induced to use less energy (to save the planet, or something) — and the price system is the best way in which to do this.
Therefore making energy more expensive is deliberate government policy.
This is not my opinion, it has been stated government (and EU) policy since 2008. And they have been damn good at it: not only in making energy pricier (which is easy), but also in pretending that they have nothing to do with making it more expensive (which is downright dishonest).
There is no doubt that the rank stupidity of this policy will be the subject of many further posts but, for now, let us focus our lens of hatred on that utter fucking weasel, Grant Shapps. This useless slime ball is, apparently, the Secretary for Energy Security — and, in this role, a more useless prick I cannot imagine.
Householders will not have to pay more on their energy bills to fund hydrogen production, Grant Shapps has indicated.
An annual levy was expected to be introduced in 2025 to cover the cost gap between producing low-carbon hydrogen and polluting fossil fuels.
FFS. The government is very, very bad at picking winners. Even if you don’t want to examine the last few hundred years of history, why not look at the very recent record of councils — who could borrow money far more cheaply than the private sector — not only utterly failing to make a profit, but actually and effectively going bust doing it!
If hydrogen is the fuel of the future, and building a vast hydrogen infrastructure is a great idea which will add huge value to our economy — and almost everyone with any expertise says that it isn’t — then the private sector will fund it. All government has to do is get out of the fucking way (as per usual).
So why on earth would there need to be yet more taxes — sorry, “levies” — on our energy bills to fund this grand folly?
Writing in the Telegraph Mr Shapps said he did not want to see a "levy directly on households" but insisted it is vital the UK gets its hydrogen industry set up to take advantage of "massive export opportunities".
"The way that's funded will have to be further up the chain," the Energy Security Secretary said.
This could potentially include landing the industry with the costs or general taxation.
Jesus crapping Christ on a pogo-stick! You cannot land a non-existent industry with the costs, because the industry does fucking exist, you moron! That’s the whole damn point. And if the private sector aren’t funding it, then it’s probably a completely stupid idea that will lose huge amounts of our money — so the government shouldn’t do it either.
Oh, and before you say “well, the short-termist private sector won’t fund anything until it knows it can make a profit”, have you seen the billions of dollars being piled into nuclear fusion in the last decade…?)
And, as for the other option, who the hell do you think pays “general taxation” — there ain’t nobody here apart from us energy bill payers, you thick cunt. So, whilst it may not be a direct levy on energy bills, it is still the same damn people paying for your fantastical schemes, arsehole.
Writing in the Telegraph Mr Shapps said he did not want to see a "levy directly on households" but insisted it is vital the UK gets its hydrogen industry set up to take advantage of "massive export opportunities".
Sure, Grant, baby. And if these export opportunities are, indeed, so massive, then you can recoup the money from all of that lovely hydrogen we sell rather than from our already pretty bloody high energy bills. Or, yes, you could add the levy and then pay us back when these mythical export opportunities arise — but that ain’t going to happen, is it?
Prick.
The Armchair General should not have to point this out, but our entire civilisation runs on energy (and only 20% of that is electricity). If you make energy more expensive, then you make everything more expensive. The last few years of inflation should have shown you that, no? (And, yes, the massive increase in energy prices is very far from being the only cause of that, but it has significantly contributed. Although not as much as a decade or more of reckless money printing.)
Before this turns into a colossal essay about the absolutely mind-gargling stupidity of the entirety of UK energy policy over the last decade and a half (we’ll save that for another post), let’s summarise Grant’s position. It is, roughly, this…
“I am a God because I have saved you all from a levy that would have added about £120 a year to every household’s energy bill, to raise money for the government to build an industry that it shouldn’t touch with a fucking barge-pole. It is true that you will end up paying one way or another, but — hey! Look there! A unicorn pooing rainbows…!”
As I said earlier, Grant Shapps is a fucking prick.